Spark
Whether they like it or not, long-distance couples find themselves constantly under the microscope. As they deal with the distance, they are also faced with scrutiny and pressure, with questions like “How do you do long-distance work?” or “Are you worried that the distance will eventually be too much?”
If you find yourself battling these questions away on a daily and are starting to let the LDR haters get you down — we’re here to help.
With the advice of relationship expert Laura Caruso, we discover how to make a long-distance relationship work, with tips and advice to help LDR couples go the distance… in spite of the distance.
Long-distance relationships get a lot of bad press, with many people believing that they are destined for failure from the outset.
However, while they have their humps and hurdles, many couples have experienced periods of long distance in the name of love. A 2005 study revealed that 10% of couples actually began with a long-distance dynamic, with an additional 14 million couples in the US currently in an LDR relationship.
No matter what the circumstances are that pull couples apart, it’s the dedication to making a long-distance relationship work that keeps them together. While physical distance certainly contributes to many additional relationship challenges, studies show that long-distance relationships can last, with 60% making it through!
So, if you’re thinking about signing up for a long-distance relationship, it might be reassuring to keep that positive figure in mind.
Now that we know it is in fact possible to make a long-distance relationship last… How do these couples do it?
While every couple finds a rhythm that works for them, there are a few things that you have to be willing to accept if you’re embarking on a long-distance relationship journey.
Namely, while we can all accept that long-distance relationships are far from ideal, you have to make peace with the dynamic from the outset. Every LDR couple will have their tough days, but complaining about the distance every day or taking your frustrations out on your partner is a big no.
Saying ‘I miss you’ might be completely justified, but making it your only topic of conversation is not a positive path for relationship longevity. It’s about making the best of the situation you’re dealing with, and if you’ve signed up for distance, you have to give it your best shot.
That means committing to coping strategies and communication patterns that suit your new dynamic and being willing to try and try again when it comes to maintaining your emotional connection.
While long-distance lovers of the past had to settle for an occasional love letter, modern technology has given us an array of avenues to bridge the communication gap.
No matter your chosen method, whether it’s video chat or texting, it’s all about making the effort to communicate in a way that suits you.
“Long-distance relationships thrive on intentional effort,” says Laura Caruso, a licensed mental health counselor, relationship therapist, and psychotherapist.
“Establishing schedules, using different communication tools, and exploring typical relationship activities with creativity all help to sustain a long-distance connection.”
When you’re dealing with distance, it’s easier to omit information or allow yourself to drift apart. If you let this pattern continue, all the things you don’t say to one another start to build those walls between you — which are difficult to break through.
This is why it’s important to establish a routine that works for you and check in with your partner to ensure that your new primary communication methods are working for you both!
